insults
I strongly advise you to use these waves with caution. Lots of players will find it funny or will agree they deserve being insulted. (true :) Some players won't like it at all though, so consider appending a ;) You will find that most of the sounds lack a comment, that's simply because i couldn't think of a funny one. In my humble opinion this only illustrates their critical nature... Most of the insults appear courtesy of YoSam. His Insulting Wavs site holds hundreds of them!

insults.zip zip file 900 KB
This zip file contains all the wave files listed in this section. For info on zips please see the help.

bitchbitchbitch.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 28 KB
"Oh bitch bitch bitch!"

balls_r_showing.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 27 KB big thanx to In__ferno
"Excuse me... your balls are showing."
... and a fine answer to this ...
dont_touch_my_balls.wav (8khz,8bit,mono) 31 KB
"Don't touch those! Don't do ever touch my balls without asking!"

cowardly_sob.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 25 KB
"You are a cowardly son of a bitch." A fine wave for the running zone ;)

deranged.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 23 KB
"Are you totally deranged?"

dickbrain.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 25 KB
"You miserable piece of dickbrain!" Annoyed female pilots will understand.
... and the rest of the wave (it was too long :) ...
slimesucking_sob.wav (8khz,8bit,mono) 32 KB
"Slimesucking son of a whore, bitch!"

forehead.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 32 KB
"Excuse me, do i have "fuck me" written on my forehead?"

fu_all.wav (8khz,8bit,mono) 26 KB
"Oh fuck you! Fuck the lot of you, fuck you all!"
Should you get to really meaning this, it's maybe better to stop playing for that day or have a look at the Looney Tunes section :)

fu_go_find_mom.wav (8khz,8bit,mono) 26 KB
"Fuck you asshole, go find your momma."

fu_punk.wav (8khz,8bit,mono) 32 KB
"Fuck you, you punk! Fuck you till your asshole is perfect donkey asshole!" oioioi :)

fuck_you_ah.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 14 KB
"Fuck you asshole." says the Terminator.

fucking_idiot.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 22 KB
"Personally I think you are a fucking idiot."

go_home.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 20 KB
"Go home and cry to your daddy, don't cry here, ok?!"

grow_up.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 19 KB
"Oh for Crist's sake, grow up."

holy_shit.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 17 KB
"Holy shit!!" Another turret negged me! :)

i_dont_know_u.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 22 KB
"I don't know you but i'm sure you're a jerk."

i_warned_u.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 29 KB
"I warned you, you fat piece of shit!"

icehole.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 32 KB
"Say your prayers, icehole." Hahaaa he says icehole, it's so funny!

im_sorry_asshole.wav (6khz,8bit,mono) 32 KB
"I'm sorryyy, ok asshole, i'm sorryyy." A nice way to appologize, ain't it? :)

kick_ass.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 31 KB big thanx to Leperman
"Anyone ever try that on me, i'll kick his ass." says Leperman, and believe me, he does kick asses, hehe.

kill_ya.wav (8khz,8bit,mono) 26 KB
"Man, if you ever talk to me like that again, i'll kill you, and i don't mean that as a euphemism."
... and the rest of the wave (it was too long again :) ...
strangle_ya.wav (6khz,8bit,mono) 30 KB
"I'm gonna litterally kill ya, i'm gonna strangle you and cut off your air supply until you pass away!"

kiss_my_ass.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 23 KB
"Why don't you kiss my ass."

lowlife_degenerate_prick.wav (8khz,8bit,mono) 30 KB
"You know you are a lyin' lowlife motherfucking degenerate prick?!"

no_honour.wav (8khz,8bit,mono) 27 KB
"Where is your honour, dirtbag? You are an absolute disgrace!" This one fits so many people that you just have to download it.

pains.wav (8khz,8bit,mono) 30 KB
"You're not just a pain in my head and a pain in my dick, you're also a pain in my ass."

pardon_my_french.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 29 KB
"Pardon my french, but you're an asshole."

pathetic_loser.wav (8khz,8bit,mono) 32 KB big thanx to Adapter
"Hmhmhmmhehemmm, you are one pathetic loser!"

say_your_prayers.wav (8khz,8bit,mono) 26 KB big thanx to Robin |>_
"You better say your prayers, you flea-bitten varmint."

shut_the_fuck_up.wav (6khz,8bit,mono) 31 KB
"You shut the fuck up! I would tell you to kiss my ass too, but you probably can't find it, you blind motherfucker!" lol!

shutup.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 21 KB
"Shut the fuck up, chico man.", from a Beastie Boys record.

shutup_for_10_secs.wav (8khz,8bit,mono) 25 KB
"Is it possible for you to shut the fuck up for 10 seconds?!"

stupid.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 11 KB
"You're stupid. - huh?", a sampled sample from the sampling Beastie Boys again :)

u_look_awful.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 32 KB
"You look awful, and you smell!!"

u_make_me_vomit.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 31 KB
"Your bloody pusillanimous behavior makes me vomit."
...and the matching vomit sound:
vomit.wav (8khz,8bit,mono) 28 KB

u_make_me_wanna_vomit.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 28 KB big thanx to Leperman
"Hey you little neg, you make me wanna vomit!" Go away, green and live or attack me and die.

u_need_3_promotions.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 27 KB
"You would need 3 promotions to get to be an asshole."

u_need_help.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 24 KB
"You look like a man who needs help satisfying his wife."

u_r_fuckin_rude.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 18 KB
"You're really fuckin' rude, you know that?!"
Make sure to download this one and have it ready, as insulting audio msgs will probably increase in the near future ;)

u_really_r_a_fa.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 20 KB
"You really are a fucking asshole."

u_sob.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 17 KB
"You son of a bitch."

Monty Python
I was thinking about creating a new shut up section, but finally these samples have landed here, after a visit in the misc section :) Big thanx go to Feyd-Rautha for sending me loads of waves. These are the ones that made it. Oh, and by the way, Monty Python are a great British comedy crew. Most funny they are indeed.

montypython.zip zip file 133 KB
This zip file contains all the wave files listed in this section. For info on zips please see the help.

be_quiet.wav 7 KB, bee_quiet.wav 12 KB and i_order_you_to_be_quiet.wav 17 KB (all 11khz,8bit,mono)
"Be quiet!" The uses for these samples are just too numerous to list them here.

bloody_peasant.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 12 KB
"Bloody peasant!" Ah, i like that one! To be used with discretion though, hehe.

invincible.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 17 KB thanx to Sam Fugate
"I'm invincible!" No, you cheat! :)

lucky_lucky_bastard.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 30 KB
"You lucky, lucky bastard!" A cunning way of saying "You damn stoopid vulcher!" :)

shut__up.wav 9 KB, shut_up.wav 9 KB, shut_up_will_you.wav 19 KB and  shutup_bignose.wav 18 KB (all 11khz,8bit,mono)
"Shut up (will ya / bignose)!" Not the gentle way to ask for silence, but effective, ain't it?!

ur_father_was_a_woman.wav (11khz,8bit,mono) 16 KB
"Your father was a woman?!" <chuckle> <chuckle> :)

welcome - help - credits
the Great Dictator - Doctor Who - insults - Looney Tunes - Star Trek - Star Wars - miscellanea

updated 15/3/98 by yours truly, Moneo